The Music Nerd Test

I Collect...

Compact Discs
...Over 100
...Over 500
...Over 1,000
Records
...Over 100
...Over 500
...Over 1,000
Cassettes
8-Tracks
...and have an 8-Track player
Objects from onstage at concerts (setlists, drum sticks, sweaty towels, etc.)
...and have framed them and/or put them on display
Music biographies
...and read every one
Turntables, record players and phonographs
Musical instruments
...even if I have no idea how to play them
Ticket stubs from every concert I've been to
One or more official press kits for a band or artist
Posters for a band or artist I like
...some of which are promotional-only
Concert t-shirts
...and wear them regularly
Autographs
Action figures of musicians
...and play with them sometimes
Boxed sets
VHS tapes or DVDs of concerts
Concert flyers
Concert programs
Vintage music memorabilia
Singles [45's or CD singles]
...imported from other countries
Coloured vinyl records or 45's
Calendars featuring bands or artists I like
Buttons/pinbacks with band or artist names/photos on them
...and actually wear them
Bumper stickers with a band or artist's name on them
...and put them on my car

I have...

Met a band or artist
...at a record signing
...before or after a show
...and spent the night partying with them
Seen a concert
Seen many concerts
Been backstage at a concert
Spent a ridiculous amount of money on merchandise at a concert
Named a pet or child after a musician
Run a website or fan club devoted to a particular band or artist
...and met that particular band or artist because of it
An entire band or artist's back catalogue
...in every format available
Worn out a record, cassette or CD by playing it too much
...and bought a new one to replace it
Had to re-organize furniture to make room for more CDs/records/cassettes
Accidentally bought an album twice
Made a mix tape or CD
...for everyone I know
Been in a band
...and played an actual show
...several times
Organized my music collection in some form
Memorized lyrics for an entire album
...for several albums
Had a subscription to a music magazine
...more than one at the same time
...and have saved every issue
Bought a magazine because an artist or band I like is on the cover
Regularly read music magazines from other countries
Been able to identify the songs played on Muzak
Traveled to another city to see a concert
Celebrated a musician's birthday
...and baked a cake for the occasion
Written for a music magazine, online music 'zine or other publication
My entire music collection catalogued
...on my computer
...and on paper
Read the book "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby
...and can relate to Rob Gordon completely
Seen the film "High Fidelity"
...and wanted to have Rob Gordon's record collection
Worked at a record shop
Owned a record shop
Been to every record shop within a thirty-mile radius
Wowed people with my musical knowledge
Sickened people with my musical knowledge
Know the names of five or more music video directors
...ten or more
...twenty or more
...and can name at least three videos each one has directed
Dressed as a band member or artist for Halloween
Dressed as a band member or artist and it wasn't Halloween
Purchased a guitar designed by a musician
...just because that particular musician designed it
Bought an album the day of its release
...right when the nearest record shop opened
Been in a mosh pit
An e-mail address that is something music-related
Cried when a musician died
Mourned on the anniversary of a musician's death
Missed work or school to see a concert
Missed work or school to buy tickets for a concert
Waited in line for more than an hour to get in to a concert
Waited outside after a concert to meet the band
...and ended up waiting for more than an hour
...and do it frequently
Had photos taken with bands or artists
...and those photos are framed and on display
Been told I'm too obsessed with music
Had dreams involving a band or artist
Worked at a radio station
Interviewed a band or artist
Followed a band or artist on tour
Downloaded an MP3 and later bought the album it came from
Quoted song lyrics in everyday conversation

I often...

Watch VH1
Watch MTV
Watch M2
Watch other music channels
Go to record shops
...and spend over $50.00 each time
...and spend hours going through the racks
Discuss music with my friends
Discuss music with complete strangers
Get teased for liking a particular band or artist
...and don't care
Reminisce about the "good old days" of MTV
Sing along to songs on the radio
Shop for memorabilia on eBay
Purchase music from online music shops
Go to music conventions
Go to concerts
Read music magazines
Recognize songs after the first few seconds
Know the answers to music trivia questions
Carefully plan out the track listings for mix tapes or CDs I make
Read the liner notes in the albums I own
...several times
Keep a list of albums I want to buy
...and update it on release days
Get excited when a song I love is played on the radio
...even if I already own the album it's from
Request songs to be played on the radio

I want...

To own a record shop
Better storage for my music collection
A better stereo system
Front row seats to the next concert I want to go to
Backstage passes
You to want me
The prices of CDs to be lower
My MTV
To stop music censorship
Better radio stations
My own radio station
To be a music journalist
To be in a band
To be a DJ
To find friends who love music as much as I do
To marry someone who loves music as much as I do
To run away screaming whenever I see Michael Jackson
More CDs
More records
A nice stereo system for my car
A 100-disc CD changer
A jukebox
...that plays 45's
A red hat like what Devo wears in the "Whip It" video
Everything the Beatles have ever released
To meet my favourite band or artist
An increase on my credit card
...to buy more music

I believe...

Rock 'n' roll will never die
Punk is a lifestyle, not a fashion statement
Vinyl sounds better than CDs
MTV was better in the 1980's
Video killed the radio star
MP3s are the best thing since sliced bread
Music is art
Songs about love will never grow old

I have watched...

Behind The Music
MTV Unplugged
Headbanger's Ball
Yo! MTV Raps
120 Minutes
I Love The 80's
Storytellers
Sessions At West 54th
Soul Train
Solid Gold
Alternative Nation
Rock 'N' Roll Jeopardy
Name That Tune
American Bandstand
Driven
The Grammy Awards (any year)
The American Music Awards (any year)
The Brit Awards (any year)
The MTV Video Music Awards (any year)
Where Are They Now?
I Love The 70's
Saturday Night Live (to see the musical guests perform)
Late night talk shows (to see the musical guests perform)
A top 20 countdown of any kind
Videos on MTV
Videos on VH1
Videos on M2
Videos on Much Music

I have seen these music-related films...

The Sound Of Music
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Wall
A Hard Day's Night
Yellow Submarine
Help!
Meeting People Is Easy
High Fidelity
That Thing You Do!
Hype!
Detroit Rock City
Dancer In The Dark
Almost Famous
The Blues Brothers
Saturday Night Fever
Velvet Goldmine
This Is Spinal Tap
Grease
Hedwig And The Angry Inch
The Last Waltz
Purple Rain
Sid And Nancy
Tommy

I often wonder...

What a "duran" is
Where Michael Jackson's nose went
What Ozzy Osbourne is saying most of the time
Where Elton John gets his clothes
If Scott Weiland will ever get his act together
Where bands get their names from
Why guitarists always make funny faces when they play
How Jerry Garcia could play guitar with one finger missing
Why musicians always seem to die of drug overdoses
How Kiss can play a show and never get their makeup messed up
What the deal is with Courtney Love

I like to...

Watch episodes of "Behind The Music"
Listen to radio stations from other countries
Re-organize my record collection
Make mix tapes or CDs
...make mix tapes or CDs with a theme
Discover new music
Read magazine articles about bands and artists
Read biographies about bands and artists
Play music trivia games
Go to concerts
Listen to remixes
Sing karaoke
Shop at record shops
Search eBay for music memorabilia
Dress like a rock star
Play guitar/bass/drums/etc.
Meet musicians or artists
Call DJs just to chat
Keep my records in protective sleeves
Buy albums on the day of their release
Transcribe the words to songs
Listen to albums and read the lyrics at the same time
Join fan clubs
Play music loudly
Make my own "greatest hits" mixes for a particular artist or band
Awe people with my knowledge of music
Build my own stereo systems
Use song lyrics to express my thoughts
Play air guitar
Listen to song covers
Set my alarm to wake up to the radio

I hate to admit it, but I secretly like...

Walt Disney soundtracks
Wham!
Menudo
New Kids On The Block
Kylie Minogue's first album
The Spice Girls
Boy George
Yoko Ono
ABBA
Winger
Hanson
Debbie Gibson
Guitar solos
Mullets
Keith Richards
N*SYNC
Emo
RATT
Broadway musicals
Limp Bizkit
Neil Diamond
Dancing the "Electric Slide"
"The Macarena"
Britney Spears
Creed
Old-school video game music
Yanni
Avril Lavigne
Good Charlotte
"Mainstream" pop music

I wear (or have worn)...

Converse Chuck Taylors
Bangle bracelets (like circa 1983 Madonna)
Leather pants (like Jim Morrison)
A "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt
Plaid flannel shirts
...tied around my waist
An afro (like Jimi Hendrix)
Dark-rimmed glasses (like Buddy Holly, Elvis Costello or Rivers Cuomo)
A bandana (like circa 1980's Bruce Springsteen)
"Bling" (like most 1990's/2000's rappers)
Spiked hair (like Sid Vicious or Billy Idol)
Permed hair (like every 1980's rock band)
Costume makeup (like Kiss)
Vintage clothing (like Beck)
Nothing, or just my underwear (like Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Short skirts to show off my legs (like Tina Turner)
White jumpsuits (like Elvis)
A leather jacket (like The Ramones)
Dreadlocks
Makeup (males only)
Neckties (females only)
Sunglasses

The best part of a song is... (check all that apply)

Rhythm
Lyrics
Vocals
Melody
Composition
Instrumentation
Uniqueness
Tempo
Volume
Catchiness
Structure
Emotion
Overall sound

I know...

What a producer does
What a sound engineer does
What Bob Dylan's real last name is
That Frank Black and Black Francis are the same person
That a "rim shot" is not a pornography term
Who Jello Biafra is
What "re-mastered" means
That Thomas Dolby did not invent "Dolby Surround Sound"
...but that Thomas Dolby did write "She Blinded Me With Science"
How much time remains on a cassette just by looking at it
The difference between "analog" and "digital"
The difference between an EP and an LP
How to properly clean compact discs
How to properly clean records
Where to find almost any record ever made
The difference between a Porno For Pyros song and a Jane's Addiction song
Who originally performed "Cum On Feel The Noize"
What year MTV debuted
...and the first video that was played
What "New Wave" means
That the Thompson Twins had three members
What OMD stands for
That Eddie Murphy, Bruce Willis and Jennifer Love-Hewitt all released albums
The words to R.E.M.'s "It's The End Of The World As We Know It"
...and can sing it
That the Beatles' "Yesterday" is the most covered song
Who the "King Of Pop" is
Who "The Boss" is
Who the "Prince Of Darkness" is
How John Lennon died
How Kurt Cobain died
How Jeff Buckley died
How Jimi Hendrix died
That Norah Jones is Ravi Shankar's daughter
...and know who Ravi Shankar is
That Ticketmaster is a ripoff
How vinyl records are made
The difference between mono and stereo
That Herman Melville is a relative of Moby
Sting's real name
Bono's real name
Eminem's real name
David Bowie's real name
That Madonna's name is really Madonna
That Ben Folds Five only had three members
That Nine Inch Nails consists solely of Trent Reznor
What a "wang chung" is (because the creator of this quiz sure doesn't)
That Bryan Adams and Ryan Adams are not the same person
That William Shatner released an album
What a "digipack" is
The difference between a film score and a film soundtrack
What a "genre" is
What the "Billboard Chart" is and what it means
That MTV doesn't play music videos anymore
That VH1 is more addicting than crack
What "moshing" is
What "skanking" is
What "pogoing" is
That "cock rock," "emo" and "grunge" refer to styles of music
What a "remix" is
What a "bootleg" is
What a "promo" is
What day of the week albums are released
What day of the week albums are released in other countries
What a "hidden track" is
That Prince once changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol
The date of "the day that music died"
The names of five major record labels
The names of five independent record labels
What a "b-side" is
What a "single" is

Wrapping things up...

I proudly call myself a music nerd.
A music nerd is a special kind of person.
My music nerd level has increased over the years.
I am fairly sure I'll score highly on this test.
I wish I knew more music nerds.